Disappointed in myself

I’ve been very happy lately with my eating habits, style, amount… I’m not sure what word I want to use.  Let’s just say I’ve not been overeating or loading up with a bunch of sugars.  But I am disappointed with how last night ended.  After a long day on the road which started with me purchasing a Little Caesar’s pizza that I knew I could get lunch and dinner out of (and which I did), we got home about 7:30 in the evening.  All was well.  I even had 1/6 of the pizza left.

Then the downward spiral started.  A handful of Pringles, a 200 calorie (30 carb) pack of fudge rounds, and because the first pack had been really melted and a lot of the chocolate was stuck to the bag – another bag of fudge rounds that wasn’t melted.  Then the last of the pizza.  Then a bowl of Cheerios, then a few more Pringles.

I found out the summer before last that I am diabetic.  The worst thing I can do is eat a bunch of carbs all at once.  So in addition to the caloric intake, I know it wasn’t good for my blood sugar level.  If you consistently abuse your body by eating this way, you end up with eye problems and losing toes or feet.  Whatever the effects last night, it’s not yet over this morning.  I have a lingering issue from my mini-binge last night.  And that is that I am very disappointed in myself.  I know better and I don’t normally do that.

Which leads me to this.  A lot of people come to my blogs long after the day that I write them by doing a Google search.  Most of the time, my blog title is thought out knowing that people will be searching for those phrases.  Can’t you imagine people searching for “Disappointed in myself”?  Maybe that’s how you found this.

When we are disappointed in ourselves, that’s a good thing.  And it frequently requires action.  If you acted a certain way toward someone, you may need to ask them for forgiveness.  If you took something that wasn’t yours you may need to ask the person for forgiveness and make restitution, or reimburse them for their loss.  From a Biblical perspective, people debate whether you are sinning against other people or against God.  1 Corinthians 8:12 says when you sin against other believers in certain ways you are sinning against Christ.  James 5:16 says, “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed…”  Ephesians 4:32 says, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”  One thing is for sure, if we ask someone for forgiveness they may say no, but when we ask God, He is faithful to forgive us.

I know one thing.  Today is a new day.  What I was yesterday and/or what I did yesterday does not have to ruin or define who I am or what I do today.  Today (or tomorrow if you’re reading this late at night with regrets) is a new day with new opportunities to make different and better decisions. Might there be consequences from my actions?  Certainly.  But let me face them and not put them off.  And may I remember the disappointment I felt and may that help me not make the same mistakes again.

Gracious God, I am sorry that I did not glorify you in my decisions before.  I am sorry for _________________________.  I ask you to forgive me and help me…

  • help me make it right with the people I’ve offended.  Make their heart ready to lovingly accept my apology.
  • help me make better decisions the next time that temptation comes so that I’m not doing the same thing over and over.
  • help me put the past behind me and give me assurance that my sin is forgiven.
  • help me rely on You and not myself.

You can add your own.  What is it that you’re disappointed in yourself about?  My mini-binge isn’t an all inclusive list, just an example ; )

Or maybe your prayer needs to be “help me, forgive me, and save me.”  He will do it if you ask.

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