First, let me confess that I am sure there was a time I said this. That means I am not judging you who say this or have this philosophy. My intent today is to tell you why “God will not give you more than you can bear/handle” is a false statement and not really an encouraging thing to say.
That phrase insinuates that the person must be strong and bear this thing themselves. After all, if God thinks he or she can handle it, then we are failing when we do not handle it well. We are failing when we admit that we are crushed by the weight of it. If it is not more than we can handle then it is showing weakness when we cry out to God,
“Why? Why did you let this happen? Are you listening to me? Are you even there? If you were there, you would know I can not handle this. I can not bear this.”
God will absolutely give us more than WE can bear. Do you really think when a parent loses a child in an automobile accident that God thinks the parents are strong enough to bear that? That is absurd. The truth is that He will never give us more than HE can bear. When we have more than we can bear, He wants us to fall into His arms and ask Him to help us bear it. He can handle our questions, our shouting, our anger, and our doubt. And when you are done and you become a slobbering puddle lying on the ground, He will say to you
Come to Me, you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your soul.… ~ Matthew 11:28-29
So would you please quit telling people that God will never give them more than they can bear? Think about changing that phrase in your repertoire. Tell them that you know this must be more than they can bear, but that you are there for them and more importantly, God is, too. And if you are one who is currently facing more than you can bear, I hope this has been an encouraging thing for you to see in black and white. You were never designed to go it alone. Jesus sent His Spirit to you precisely so you would never have to bear this life alone. I also hope you will listen to “Cry Out to Jesus” from Third Day.
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Scott Knowlton's Blog 