If there is one thing I am not afraid of, it is being vulnerable. I am not afraid to admit it when I sit in my office and cry or admit that I go to the church parking lot and look at the sky and yell at God. It has been a while since I knelt at the altar and cried or sat in my office and had a good one. This morning, with tears running down my face I have been listening over and over to Casting Crowns’ song Oh My Soul.
And no one would blame you, though
If you cried in private
If you tried to hide it away, so no one knows
I will be doing another funeral tomorrow. I did not know Charlie, but every Wednesday night I spend an hour with people at an NA meeting that could very well have had the same ending.
I’m not strong enough, I can’t take anymore
And my shipwrecked faith will never get me to shore.
Can He find me here
Can He keep me from going under
She hopes I am feeling better (a week after a procedure to remove a kidney stone). I tell her I am back to 100%. And then, right on cue she reminds me that God is good.
One more day, He will make a way
Let Him show you how, you can lay this down
‘Cause you’re not alone…Oh, my soul, you’re not alone